There’s a reason why the stereotype of a chef who yells and throws things exists.
Although times are changing, the angry chefs who aim to control their employees by creating fearful work environments are still out there.
Still there causing more harm than good, adding trauma to the already fragile mental health of many overworked, overstressed, anxious and/or depressed cooks and sous chefs.
Losing your shit on your team does not make you powerful. It is a sign of weakness. A sign that you have some serious baggage that needs to be processed.
You’re in a high stress environment. You are most likely sleep deprived. We’ve all been there. I’ve been there and done it. It doesn’t feel good for anyone. It creates distrust. It creates resentment. It creates more stress.
You are a leader. People trust that you will show them the way. That you will support them.
Part of our work as individuals whether we are showing up for our staff, coworkers, partner, family or friends is to face our demons and anxiety, so that we can contribute rather than deplete.
It’s easy to flip out on a busy night when everyone is fucking up. Anyone can do that. It takes a strong person to catch themselves, take a deep breath and take a second to examine their thoughts and emotions before opening their mouth.
What actually needs to be said right now? Is what I’m about to say helpful? Is it kind? Does it show I care?
Or, am I just projecting my frustrations onto whoever is in my line of sight?
To remain calm, collected and conscious is a superpower.
Respect isn’t something to be demanded, it is something you receive when you show others respect and you are not afraid to be vulnerable and honest with yourself.